SCOTT hamilton

Riding the Bike So Far

It’s getting much more fun. I’m regaining the youthful agility I once had on a two-wheeler. With this comes the temptation to take risks. It won’t be long before I am sporting some road rash.

The hills aren’t so steep. It’s amazing the amount of erosion that takes place in a few short weeks. I’m surprised the Rocky Mountains aren’t the Rocky Plains by now. Oh well I’ll let God worry about that. My first trip time was 64 minutes. Today was a lightning quick 49 minutes.

I received my first middle-finger-of-fellowship today. I guess it was provoked by my palms-up-shoulder-shrug-what-gives gesture. We were on a road with exactly 3 inches of shoulder (no exaggeration). I was splitting the white line and the edge of the blacktop. The guy in the biggie-sized SUV couldn’t wait another 4 seconds to let oncoming traffic by so he could maneuver around me with a little room. Had I swerved just a few inches I’d be missing an elbow right now. He didn’t even slow down. It startled me to the point of me letting out a little *#@!

But alas, I am alive to ride another day . . .

No Pain No Shame

I’ve been working out at the local gym going 2½ years. It’s a great way to relax and work out some stress. And it’s probably the only healthy thing I do – I’m definitely not a health nut. I remember one of my first experiences in the gym.  I was going to try out the ab-cruncher machine after this lady was done. 

I took my time mounting the machine as to not fumble an error and disclose that I was a novice. I looked down and noticed she had the pin in the plate marked 40lb. 

“Aw. That will be a good warm up.”

 

I hooked my feet, gripped the handles, took in a deep breath, and . . . nothing! I couldn’t budge it. As my ego melted, I slowly reached down and put the pin in the plate marked 20lb. I prayed that the previous occupant wasn’t watching. 

I did three sets to muscle failure (It was over in about 30 seconds). As I exited the demeaning machine my pride kicked in and I reached down and relocated the pin to the plate marked 60lb. Just in case the previous tenant returned.
 

Pride is a funny thing . . .

(BTW - my pride wanted you to know that I crunch 200lbs now. Pride it's a funny thing . . .)

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Ah, the Effects of Laughing Gas.

I had my wisdom teeth removed this past Monday.

 

It was a first for:

• Getting a tooth pulled
• Laughing gas
• Being completely knocked out

 

The absolute best part was the laughing gas. I had a miniature respirator placed over my nose that fed me ‘the stuff’. The doll-sized gas mask was there a while when the nurse lifted my headphones and asked if I was feeling the effects yet. “Not yet,” I replied. I think it was delayed because I was extremely nervous and amped up on adrenaline. But then three breathes later it hit me like a giant clown balloon from the Macy’s Parade. Boy, did I start giggling. My nose was tingly, and my eyes were on a delayed focus mode. When I tried to lift my arm it felt like a bag of wet cement, which made me giggle harder. Then for some reason I found it funny that I was laughing, and this started a thermonuclear laughing meltdown. I’m laughing – oh that’s funny I’ll laugh harder – oh I’m laughing harder – oh that’s funnier, etc. The nurse had to lift my headphones again to see if I was freaking out too much.

I’m wondering if they could gas me without actually having to do any teeth pulling . . .

Maybe for my follow-up this Thursday I’ll pose the question.

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‘Field Day’ or better yet ‘Recess Day’

Recently I did the yearly ritual of observing and cheering on my girls during Field Day. This past year it really crystallized for me how different it has become from my Field Days as a kid. Nowadays the kids get to ride these cool, over-sized tricycles or race some fun looking wiggle-scooters. The biggest difference though is the intentional removal of all semblance of competition.

On one hand I get it . . .

• We don’t want kids to feel bad
• One bad Field Day could ruin a kid’s self-esteem for life.
• We want everybody to feel included.

 . . . I get it, but then I don’t.

I recently watched the national spelling bee. The kids competing were amazing, and obviously gifted. They put in a lot of hard work, but they were also designed with certain natural talents and skills that allowed them to take spelling to a stratospheric level. What if this ‘no competition’ philosophy were applied to academics? We would never have a national spelling bee champion. Instead we would give everyone who entered a participation ribbon regardless if they spelled one word correctly. That’s asinine! Why can’t we teach our children to embrace who they are by helping them discover the way God wired them to be?

I recently ran the Bolder Boulder. Did I win? No. Did I even place? No. Am I crushed because I wasn’t as good as the runners? No. I realize that God did not design me to be a runner (pain provides amazing clarity sometimes). It was a fun experience, but I know my limitations.

“You can be anything you want to be if you try hard enough.”

No you can’t (sorry Barney). I can try all I want, but I’ll never be an Olympic ice skater like the other Scott Hamilton – I’m 6’3”. Don’t get me wrong. I believe effort plays a big part, but I could work my tail off and become only a mediocre figure skater maybe. I am designed to be a big moose of a guy that can leg press 1200 lbs. (that’s right tinker-bell-ice-skater, over half a ton.)  I’m not trying to boast, but to make a point that God designed us differently and competition allows us to excel at what we’re good at and to gauge our limitations. Competition is good.

Let’s teach our kids to live out of the strengths God gives them, not try to create a bubble universe devoid of competition. The more they understand how God designed them the more successful they will be.

(I just had a funny thought. The tinker-bell-ice-skater is pretty athletic – what if he could leg press more than I . . . crap. Well I have the-roll-my-tongue-into-a-taco-shape thing going for me.)

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Run Scott, Run

I've started training conditioning self-inflicted pain in preparation for running a 10k race known as the Bolder Boulder. I think the ‘K’ in 10k stands for kill – as in it’s killing me.

 
In actuality I don’t even run, I kind of hobble-trot. I look like I’m competing in the geriatric Olympics in the walker-less 440 event.

 

The other day I went by a mother going the opposite way. She was casually jogging with a toddler-filled stroller. To me she was quaint. I thought it was heartwarming that a man training for an elite race could share the same trails with an ordinary mom and her 1 year old passenger. About 10 minutes later she reached her turn around point and was heading in the same direction as I was. She passed me up like I was running backwards. I think her little ankle-biter even snickered at me as he rode by.

 
As I entered the home stretch my friend Dan pulled up along side of me and we ran together. He’s a nice guy. After a minute or two I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and thought that a three-toed sloth full with thanksgiving dinner could run faster than him . . . oh, wait, he was running with me. With about 200 yards left he said, “I’m going to run it on in,” and with that he started pulling away. I responded with a grunt, which I’m sure he thought was an acknowledgement/encouragement. It wasn’t. It had more of a “Whatever!” flavor.

 
So why am I doing this? I have no idea. My body is in full rebellion, and my pride is curled up in the fetal position sucking its thumb in a dark closet. If I don’t have better test results for my next cholesterol check I’m going to flatten a tire on that little kid’s stroller.

 

 

 

(Dedicated to Sheryl, a fellow non-runner, who thinks running is stupid.)

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My top rated supplements

 

I am into weight lifting. It’s great stress relief, feels ‘manly’, and is generally good for ones health. I also love knowing I am getting the most return on my efforts. So, in that spirit I take supplements (which are perfectly legal despite rumors at work to the contrary).

 
Here are my top rated supplements:
 

1. A multi-vitamin.

This simply allows the body to convert food into energy, hormones and tissue.
 

2. Protein. 

These are the ‘LEGOS’ of muscle building. Weight lifting breaks down muscle to which the body responds by trying to build up more muscle, which means it needs more ‘LEGOS’.
 

3. Creatine.

Basically, once the creatine is stored inside the muscle cell, it attracts the water surrounding the cell and enlarging it. This super hydrated state of the cell causes side effects such as the increase of strength and it also gives the appearance of a fuller muscle. It may also trigger protein synthesis and minimize cell breakdown.

In addition, creatine provides for faster recovery in between sets and increased tolerance to high volume work.
 

These are the three basics to supplement your well balanced diet with if you’re a runner, weight lifter, Pilates participant, etc.